Are You Winning, or Losing?

It's way better to lose the battle to win the war. Watch this! XO

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To Read:

Sometimes, we have to lose the battle to win the war.

In order to “win”, which is to be happy, we have to focus on our actual objective in the big picture, not our emotional objective in the heat of the moment.

When we feel that someone is being unreasonable, it’s instinctive to react with anger because we want people to see how unfairly we have been treated, we want people to admit how wrong they are.

But in the big picture, is that important?

Our emotional objective in the heat of the moment says “yes fight, stand up for ourselves, !” but if we focus on our actual objective in the big picture, we will realise that to properly stand up for ourselves, which is to achieve what we want , we have to handle the situation in a way that will put out the fire instead of stoking the flames.

If we react negatively, the other person is going to respond even more negatively, then we’re going to want to top that, so you’re both stoking each other’s flames, both on fire and becoming hotter.

But why should we remain calm when they are the one shouting and being unreasonable?

Well if a person is dancing around like a monkey, you don’t have to join the circus. Then there’ll be 2 monkeys dancing around.

There needs to be ONE MATURE and reasonable person in the situation, why not you? Don’t let your ego trick you into joining in the monkey dance.

Our ego is always shouting so loudly for us to win win win! that our wisdom gets drowned out. What our wisdom is trying to tell us, is that we’re not winning, we’re losing.

We’re losing because we can’t even think think straight in our anger, much less achieve any of our objectives. We think we’re standing up for ourselves, but we end up sabotaging ourselves.

We often self-sabotage without realising it because winning the battle feels so satisfying that we cannot see that we’ve lost the war.

We think satisfaction is winning, but in reality it contributes nothing to our goals or happiness.

Really winning in life is when we can handle difficult situations in a way that can help us achieve our actual objective in the big picture, whether it’s in our relationship, our family or our work. That’s what it means to be happy, always.
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