So much of our anguish is based on what's fair or unfair. Here's why X
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You should contribute, it’s only fair.
No matter how smart or intelligent we are, there are some concepts that even if we KNOW make us unhappy, we still hold on tight to them, like the concept of fairness.
Fairness is an extremely good principle to develop, for ourselves. But when we apply it to the people and situations in our life, it can cause us endless amount of grief.
We can think it isn’t fair that our partner doesn’t do the dishes or take out the trash, but the thing is, if you live alone in the house, you’d still have to do them, and you wouldn’t have any problem doing it.
It's the concept of 'what should be' that causes the resentment and the suffering, not the actual thing itself.
We are incredibly attached to the concept of fairness because we don't want people to take advantage of us. We don't want to be a pushover. But in the quest of all of that, we really suffer, from anger, frustration and resentment.
If our lazy colleague didn't exist, we wouldn't complain at having to do so much work, we'd just do them.
If we didn't have siblings, we wouldn't be upset at having at contributing more for our parents fund, we’d have to pay all of it. If we lived alone, we wouldn't be resentful that we have to do all the housework, we'd just do them.
The question isn't whether people benefit from our actions, because it doesn't matter whether other people benefit, as long as WE know it benefits us.
By doing the things we want to get done, We’re not being a pushover, we're being SMART. It’s understanding the game of how our mind works, to help us not feel so upset when other people are not doing what they’re ‘supposed to’.
Honestly, it's a lot better to do something we want to get done, ourselves; and finish it within 5 minutes, as opposed to waiting and waiting around for someone to do it, and feeling frustrated the whole time.
Do what benefits you most for your happiness, not what benefits the concept of fairness; and it’ll be so much easier to be happy, always!