How Can You Change Your Partner?

We can love someone, yet be unhappy with certain aspects of the person. Watch this! XO

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To Read:
We can love someone, but we can also be really unhappy with them.

Falling in love with someone is always the easy part. Love isn't difficult, it’s relationships that are difficult.

All of us have preferences, values and beliefs that we think are good and right.

So when two people are in a relationship together, it’s only natural that we would dislike or disagree with certain decisions our partner makes or how they choose to live their life.

It is at this very juncture that we have to decide on which path we want to take :
Do we want to change this person, or do we want to help and support this person in enhancing their life?
Often, we truly believe that our partner can benefit from positive change—that their potential for happiness and greatness would be so much better if they do a little bit of this and a little bit of that.

However, even if we can see that change is good for someone, the honest truth is that we cannot make someone change, we can only inspire them to want to change, and then support them through their own desire to change.

When we want someone to change, what happens is that even when we try to be patient, kind and loving, our frustrations will come across and nothing gets better.

This is because thinking that someone needs to change is propelling us to “fix” the person. Human beings only want to fix something when there’s a problem, which indicates that we think our partner is a problem; and that is a judgement they can feel.

When we're really honest with ourselves, we'd see that our desire for someone to change often has a lot to do with how it would benefit us. It's so more comfortable and so much easier when our partner shares the same values, beliefs, ambitions, preferences and mindset as us, because it's part of human nature to like being around people who reflect back what we think is right.

For someone to change, we must first change our own perception towards them. Instead of trying to fix our partner which indicates that something is wrong with them, we can help our partner enhance their own quality of life so that it’s not just us, but they too, can learn how to be happy always.
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