I Don't Like Your Partner - Happiness Vlog

Criticising your child's choice of partner isn't a smart thing to do. Here's why! Xo

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To Read:

What happens when two people fall in love… but their parents think that they can do better?

We all have aspirations for the people we love. Parents want the very best for their kids, especially when it comes to their choice of partner.

Yet, every parent who disapproves of their child’s partner need to do it with the total awareness that they cannot criticise or bad-mouth the person.

We’ve all been young and in love, and even when we’re old and in love, we’re incredibly protective of the person we’ve fallen in love with.

Sometimes, we may even know that the person and it’s precisely because of this that we’re more adamant to make the relationship work if our parents show the slightest hint of disapproval.

It’s not because we want to rebel, it’s because we feel like we have no choice because of our pride. If we prove our parents right that it’s the wrong relationship, it’s like saying that we’re not capable enough to make smart choices.

This doesn’t sound like particularly smart behaviour but it is human behaviour none the less. Nobody likes people pointing out how bad their choices were.

Similarly, it isn’t smart to openly criticise your children’s choice in partners. The intelligent thing to do when you disapprove of the boyfriend or girlfriend is to make sure that your child feels comfortable in confiding in you so that when the time comes and you want to give them advice they’ll actually listen.

We only confide in people we trust and even though we love our parents, we may not trust they won’t judge us, criticise us or get mad. This is a piece of the puzzle many parents miss - they don’t understand that the child needs to feel like their parents have got their back, before they can listen to advice.

It’s not that we cannot voice our opinion, but if we want people to listen to us our advice, we have to start by listening to them without judgement nor criticism.

Love isn’t enough to cultivate a great parent-child relationship, it takes patience and incredible maturity on the parent’s part, to not react but instead respond in a way that truly conveys their love.

It’s support, not criticism that lowers defences and gains trust, and that’s when you can say anything and the other person will listen.

When we think that we know what’s good for the people we love, we also have to remember that our objective is for them to be happy, always!

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