It’s Not Me, It’s You - Happiness Vlog

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This is an except from Chapter 3 in my upcoming book, “Be Happy Always - Simple Practices For Overcoming Life’s Challenges and Living Each Day With Joy”.

Why must we work on ourselves when it’s clearly the other person who is the problem? Watch this! XO

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To Read:
“Hey, I get along very well with people, okay… it’s just this one bugger who is impossible!”

With other people, there’s no problem. With you, there’s a problem. Which means, that you are the problem.

We often don’t work on ourselves as much as we need to, because generally, we think we’re quite good at being a happy person—we’re having positive experiences with other people, so with the few people whom we have negative experiences with, it’s easy to conclude that it’s more their problem than ours.

This is why there is so much resistance in letting go of our negative emotions towards the people we find difficult, because we’re thinking, "Why should I have to work on it? Why not you?!”

It’s very easy to self-reflect for a while, decide that we are not the problem and then “let it go” in the sense of letting the responsibility of the practice of self-awareness and emotional maturity go to the other person.

This, essentially, is us excusing ourselves from our own reactions.

There are all sorts of people in this world. It can be very true the other person is less reasonable and more egotistical, yet if we find ourselves being triggered by someone, it is like having a sign lit up that says, “Here, here! This is where I can work on myself!”

In fact, instead of being upset by people for triggering us, we should be thanking them for showing us something about ourselves.

Every single difficult person we come across is our teacher - they’re showing us who we don't want to be, and also giving us an opportunity to practice patience, kindness and all the other virtues we say we want to embody.

As long as we have the mindset that people are the cause of our negative emotions and reactions, then we will never have a need to figure out the real reason for the unhappiness that we feel.

This is why even when our goal is to grow as person, we can see little or no progress, because if we pick and choose when to work on ourselves, then the reality is that we will get very little practice in.

Happiness is a practice. Regardless of whether people are practicing it or not, we can always practice how to respond positively to challenging situations, so that we can be be happy, always!

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