When we attach our pride to our identity... we suffer more. Here's why X
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I’m the kind of person who hates all branded things, but this one bag, I really like!
I’m the sort of person who don’t judge people, but this one person, is such an asshole!
So what kind of person are you actually? If you hate ice-cream, but you like one flavour, do you actually hate ice-cream? Why do you need to defined yourself as a person who hates it at all?
When we attach an identity to ourselves, it’s because we pride ourselves on being a certain kind of person.
We all grow up with this education of what is right and wrong, what’s considered moral and what’s classy and good, so the concept of attaching an identity to ourselves is one that we embrace, like it’s a good thing to be defined as a certain kind of person.
Many of the problems we have, at the root of it, are always caused by some sort of attachment to our pride, to what we’ve attached to our identity.
That’s why we can feel insulted, because people have injured our pride, we think they’ve injured us. But whatever insults that come our way have no effect on who we are if we don’t attach our identity to our pride.
If we can understand that even something like our achievements don’t define us, that our failures don’t define us, then we won’t be taking anything personally.
Our achievements are because of the hard work we’ve put in, because of luck, because of our knowledge or skills. Our failures are because of wrong timing, not enough practice or not enough skill, or just bad luck. It’s not that we are successful, or that we are failures.
We can take responsibility for all of our actions without attaching the results of our actions to our sense of self.
In fact, it helps us not deflect responsibility when we don’t define ourselves - when we make a mistake we won’t say, ”I wasn't feeling my self today". Or when we do something right, or achieve something we won’t think, “There, that’s the real me”.
We don’t have to pride ourselves on being a person of anything. We can just focus on being authentic, and real, and learn and grow, without letting our pride get in the way, and that’s how we can be happy, always!