The Attention We Seek - Happiness Vlog

Sometimes, we behave badly to get attention. Watch this X

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To Read:
Attention, that’s usually what we want when we behave badly.

As a baby, the only way to get attention, to communicate, is to cry. When we’re kids, we learn very quickly that certain behaviour will get us attention.

And kids whose parents allow temper tantrums, who give in or buy things when they cry, yell or sulk, discover early on that bad behaviour brings about certain rewards.

When we become adults, bad behaviour becomes part of our toolbox to get what we want in life. It’s a set of skills that we’re not even aware we have, but if we observe our behavioural patterns, we can see the instances where we seek attention through negative behaviour.

For example, we can threaten to break up with someone just to have them feel regret for having disagree with us. We can walk away from someone and disappear just so that they’d text later to find out where we are, so that they’d worry about us.

We want a reaction, and sometimes we don’t know how to get that attention except to do something drastically negative.

When you read reviews on a restaurant, you’d tend to notice how some reviews are just stating the facts of their experience, where they genuinely want to give other diners to have information or give the restaurant constructive feedback.

The other kind of reviews are written for themselves, where the scathing manner and tone is one of righteous demand that the owner do something to make them better.

It’s human nature to want an acknowledgement of some sort. We really don’t like it if someone ignore us, or treat us as insignificant. The desire for attention isn’t a conscious thought or goal, it’s simply reflected through our behavioural patterns.

The moment we’re aware of this, we can work on not letting bad behaviour be part of our toolbox to getting what we want.

As kids we may not know any better but as thinking, thoughtful adults, we can always communicate our desires and discomfort in a way that befits the nice, kind and rational human being that we are.

We do this not for others, but for ourselves. To continuously grow as a person, to be proud of our actions, and to be happy, always.

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