The Most Important Love - Happiness Vlog

We don't have to be perfect to deserve love. This is what self-love means X

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What is self-improvement?

On the surface, self-improvement means constantly working on ourselves. But we can be constantly working on ourselves with little or no improvement.

As strange as it sounds, self-improvement is only possible when we fully love and accept ourselves.

This is where how we understand self-love becomes incredibly important.

Loving ourselves isn’t being narcissistic, it isn’t thinking that we’re perfect or excusing our flaws. That’s self-indulgence.

Self-love is the ability to see all our flaws and weaknesses and still understand that we are enough. Because love isn’t conditional. It’s not like we deserve love only when we feel good, or when we succeed.

Love is filled with awareness of who and how we are without the judgement. Self-love allows us to improve on our weaknesses whilst removing all that guilt, the shame and the feelings of inadequacy.

When we love ourselves, we love all of ourselves. Including the mistakes, the insecurities, the bad days, the sadness, the imperfections… anything and everything.

Don’t mistake your expectations of yourself as having standards. When we have standards, we just strive to always be better. When we have expectations, we get upset with ourselves when things don’t work out. We get so disappointed and angry and frustrated that it becomes really hard to be happy.

What we don’t see is that what we think is ‘striving to be better’ is holding us back. We are holding ourselves back with expectations. And placing expectations on ourselves leads to self-loathing.

It means that deep down inside, we feel like we’re not enough. We feel like we have to prove to ourselves that we are worthy. So without even being conscious of it, we look at the things we achieve as proof that we’re worthy.

This is why we can be very good at our work and be a confident person but not have a strong sense-of-self. Because our self-esteem comes from whether we believe that we are enough.

We can be confident yet harsh on ourselves. Confident yet constantly compare ourselves to other people. Confident yet riddled with self-doubt, especially the minute we do something wrong.

We have to understand that self-loathing isn’t self-improvement. Only truly loving ourselves helps us to improve. And most of all, how we treat ourselves is how we treat others. If we cannot love ourselves, we won’t know what it means to love someone else. You need to love you, all of you, and that’s when it’s easier to be happy, always.

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