Who Are You Attracted To? - Happiness Vlog

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When it comes to love, here's why having a 'type' can stop us from meeting that someone special! X

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When it comes to relationships, do you have a type?

We know ourselves well enough, so when it comes to love and a life partner, it's pretty safe to say that we know our 'type' pretty well. But the problem with love and attraction is that it doesn't play by any rules, so it is possible that having a 'type' might end up working against us, rather than for us.

Having a 'type' translates to an automatic screening of people in our mind, so much so that we bypass and ignore people whom we might be extremely attracted to otherwise.

Having a type doesn't bode so well for us because we can only see 'type' on the outside, but we cannot see if the person is our 'type' on the inside.

So we end up basing our compatibility and ideals on a person's profile, or what we can see they represent. But in any relationship, it is how a person thinks and how they approach life that determines how compatible they are to us, and even how attracted we are to them.

We could date different types of people who all actually have similar values and worldview to us, or we could date the same types of people who may have very different values and worldview from us. And that’s why we keep having relationships with the same type of people that don’t work out.

It is in fact, dangerous to have a type, because then we'll have expectations of how the person is like and should behave. And similarly, it's dangerous to be someone's type, because they'll have expectations of how you will be and who you are.

Dating or even meeting someone interesting takes enough effort and luck, and it truly doesn't help to narrow down our chances even more by setting our sights on people of a certain profile.

Whether or not we think someone is our type, we should always be open to the possibility that any one could be incredibly attractive to us, if we gave ourselves a chance to find out.

We shouldn’t confuse having a ‘type’ to having standards, because having standards is simply recognising good manners and values, not writing off people whom we don't think will 'suit us'.

Throw away the labels and expectations and fully engage with everyone you meet, and not only will you enjoy the interactions, you might end up with someone special, someone you didn't even think could be special, and be happy, always.

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Xandria Ooi, Inspiring, Happiness VLOG
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