Why Cause Your Own Suffering? - Happiness Vlog

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There’s this saying, don’t cut off your nose to spite your face.

When we’re upset about something, it’s incredibly easy to take an action that we feel is just and right, even if the action costs us. It’s also easy to think that we will happily bear the cost if it also costs the other person, if it teaches them a lesson. If they suffer.

But what actually happens is that we can do everything to someone yet whether or not they learn the lesson we want them to learn… we will never know. What we do know, is that we’re missing a nose. And we have to look at our face everyday, missing a nose.

And therefore, no matter how intelligent we think we are, we can also be extremely and very obviously unwise. Just to prove our point, we can completely lose sight of our main objective and sabotage ourselves, all along mistakenly thinking that we’re winning.

If you happen to live with someone who refuses to clean the toilet, but a clean toilet is very important to you, it can be very unfair that you are the one who’s cleaning the toilet all the time.

Now, if you choose to continue living with this person, there are a few courses of actions you can take: You can use the dirty toilet and be completely grossed out each time, you can drive out to the nearest mall every time you need to use the toilet, or you can wash the toilet and complain and complaaainn each time you do it, or you can just clean the toilet because your main objective is to use a clean toilet.

Only one of the actions is winning, because every other action, is us causing more trouble and more suffering for ourselves.

A good wish is, “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

We can always find a solution by inspiring people to do what we want, we can motivate them to do more of what we think is good, but we should never sabotage our own objectives in the quest of doing so. And there’s nothing more important than our own peace of mind, to be happy, always.


Xandria Ooi, Happiness Vlog
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