Feeling guilt or blaming ourselves doesn't help us change for the better. Here's what can help. X
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Nobody wants to be negative, nobody WANTS to be an angry person. Yet negativity and anger don’t make us less good of a person… it just makes us less proud of ourselves.
There is no worse judgment in this world than the one we give ourselves. Even when we argue with someone and think we're right, there's a voice in our head that tell us that we're not behaving in a way that we would be proud of. And strangely enough, we have a tendency to behave even worse when we already feel a little bit bad for our behaviour.
This is why it's incredibly important to not judge ourselves for the way we are, because guilt and blame doesn't give us hope for change, it only makes even more defensive and more in denial about our own behaviour.
If we have the capacity to feel bad about our behaviour, it means that we're aware of what we would like to change about ourselves. What usually frustrates us is that we seem to only remember this when we're calm. When we're angry, it's like all thoughts and reasoning fly out the window.
We need to be able to build our sense of conscience absent of judgement - and that is to be able to see why our behaviour is undesirable, without feeling bad about it. Otherwise, it's not conscience, it's just guilt.
It is only our conscience that can help us pull back when we're feeling angry.
It is never necessary to feel guilty or to hate ourselves to change. Acknowledging that we can be better with no judgments upon ourselves at all gives us a louder conscience, and that creates change. Because it becomes harder and harder to serve the ego when your conscience is so loud.
There are no shortcuts to being a better person. It’s a constant work in progress, and we just work on being more and more aware each time. It’s important to know that even while we still have lots to work on, we can still accept ourselves and be happy, always.